Not Myself

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.

The fateful day I received the unexpected phone call. The same day my two plots of lands were degraded -- On the same day, my page rank for PeaceBella.com dropped from Four to Zero in the morning; and ultimately that night, MoneySick.com also dropped from a page rank of Three to Zero. That made all my lands Page Rank Zero -- PeaceInspire.com, PeaceInspiration.com, PeaceMotivate.com, PeaceBella.com and Moneysick.com. That was a brutal attack. I wonder my five treasures are treasures or trashsure. In my hearts, they are always still my treasure.

All my blogs are created out of my inspiration and love of knowledge. They are all my collections, just like how I collected cuttings and pictures for my scrapbooks. It is hard to maintain so many blogs. Each time I said to myself, to end the blog (meaning not to update anymore), I am reluctant to end the life of the blog. All the blogs, at blogspot especially, are just like my gardens. I do not wish to see them dead. Though I am busy, I always remember them. I had deserted Motivation Peek for three months!

I had my ups and very downs. But somehow I will always get help from people around me. That is my belief, as I had experienced so many instances. That let me think of something which I must blog about, to let people know that 'such thing' really exist. (another post)

Today, I wrote about what is great life. I was too tired after 'struggling' for weeks or days. I have my own targets and own expectations to meet. But life has too much things to do. How often can we finish what we wanted to do on time? There are just so many unaccomplished tasks piling up. I felt so listless and I wanted to give up. I had no energy to write anything. That is really burnt out, my saturation point. I went to visit some blogs instead.

I saw Kathy Gates article on 7 Secrets To Great Life on blogs. That inspired me, and it made me thought of what is my great life. Today, I had drafted my own views of Great Life. However, they are too lengthy to be completed in a post. I would need to write posts on that perhaps. My first post is on Beliefs.

As I was writing my drafts and thinking about Great Life, I could not believe myself. I can really FEEL and have a SENSE of feeling that everything seems to be slowly GUIDING me to something, ONE STEP AT A TIME. It seems to be leading me to go somewhere else... I saw the connection just now (beliefs and faith). It is so unbelievable. I cannot believe myself and I cannot believe myself I am saying these myself. Strange things, unexplainable things really happen and you really need to believe, even if you think it is unbelievable.

This is a lousy post. My intention was not to write about these, but something else. But somehow I go 'out of point'. Fated? I do not know, this is so unbelievable. Just like what the bible had people who began to speak in tongues! I think that must be the case, something like that.

I am truly sober. I know what I am doing.

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What I actually want to post:

Today my children got their textbooks. The busy body people whom I wanted to talk about, but now I don't feel like writing any more. It is 2.50am now and I have no inspiration to do anything now, but to sleep.

I hate this post, it is very inorganized. But that is all that comes to my mind. It is afterall, my diary, my personal diary, for my own reference. You want to read it, I don't mind.