My First Unknown Relationship

Nice Words, Sweet Talk Not For Me
It is so hard to say, especially when I am not a person who can speak nice words. However, I am capable of telling the truth, I am able to tell, with simple words. Yes, hard to believe, and I can never dream of. But I believe it is, and there is. It is a wonder, a mystery and a miracle. Everything is happening for a reason and everything leading to something meaningful and for me to find out and learn.

Origin...
It all started, not only with the Prophet, but all accumulative, every single things that happened day in and day out.

Pictorial Jesus, Jesus on the cross -- St Francis of Assisi Church I visualized, imagined.
A person who have no idea of what is God, a person who only know people cannot be trusted, and a person who know that Life is so much of suffering and a question mark to its meaning, I only know that I prayed to Jesus for help. I prayed to Jesus, for peace -- family and world (if the world is no peace, how can my parents be at peace -- when there is a war? I prayed to Jesus for protection, not to protect me, but protect my parents, especially my mother, the person whom I love, the person whom I worried and the person whom I saw, suffering and full of sorrow in her life.

Money Sick, No Peace In Family
Who can I turn to for help? Nobody knows what I am thinking. My father and my sister seem not to get along well. My brothers, both have their own problems last time. Money is always a problem, from then till now. Everyday I heard about "earning money" and everyday I heard about the problems of "women". These two problems is already a great issue in family.


Not a Sudden Idea -- It Started when I know how to read...
So my relationship with Jesus actually begin as early as when I was young, capable of 'speaking' to Jesus. I supposed that is during my Primary School time. I learned bits of Jesus in catechism class. Back home, I read my brother's 'bible' -- actually, the story of Jesus. My big brother was very good to me. He doted on me, he bought story books for me and there was once, he bought a story book about Moses and baby Jesus (I forget the title of the story book, but I can still remember the page. It was baby Moses, and there was a page on Noah's Ark with all the different animals on it. I love my big brother. My second brother taught me in my studies. I think childhood days are really the best days, even though they are not really luxurious life nor bed of roses.

I Valued Relationships
Relationship is very important to me. I was not aware of it, but Mr Wong told me. Yes, it must be. But how to have a relationship with God, something which I do not even know and something which I do not even see? Someone told me, "You seem to be searching for something." Am I? Yes, and I seem to know my purpose soon, though it is quite apparent now, but still, that is me.... hard to say, difficult to put everything down in black and white.

My Dreams = My relationship with God
Relationship is another keyword which is brought to my attention today. I was enlightened by the power of words. I begin to learn about importance of Beliefs and next, existence of Spirits and next, the definition of Life. Step by step, scary, but awesome and miraculous. I rejoice, I am grateful and I am glad, my prayers have never failed me. (Not for striking 4Ds, not for making me rich, not for helping me earn lots of money, but for protection, for guiding, for wisdom and for family's bliss -- my parents, my brothers and sisters, my nieces and nephews, my husband and my children).

My Mission, My Vision, all Walking Towards Light
It is an irony of life, which I am going to continue, lots of it going to be mentioned, have to. It is not so simple to be explained in just one post. Imagine how long do I take to have my eyes opened and how long do I take to see. One person, and perhaps even more, do not believe me. One person, wrote to me and said I am making my own 'promotion', I am not going to be deterred by that. Time will tell. How can I possibly make up so much stories? How can I possibly make up such downgraded stories and be a mockery perhaps? Whatever, I have no fear of being a ridicule, but I am proud. Proud that I am brave and proud that I have the guts to be transparent and have nothing to hide. I can walk around with pride because I have found Light that is going to lead me the Path of Light.

Life Refreshed, New Vision, New Life, New Beginning
I never regret anything now. Not a single thing. Not even blaming anyone, not even caring about tons of loans. Sick and immune, too heavy to carry, tired, totally tired. I can no longer carry. I want to rest, put down the loans on the floor for a while. Let me regain my energy to carry the pails of water later. When I can sing along Songs of God, "Blessed be God, Blessed Be God, Blessed Be God, Forever Amen...", that would make my burden lighter -- focused my mind on the song and I can carry the burden with enjoyment instead! What's more, when I die, I have no loans. When I die, I want to see my love ones happy, I want to see them suffer no more.


In every adversity there lies the seed of an equivalent advantage. In every defeat is a lesson showing you how to win the victory next time. ~ Robert Collier


Peace Inspire, Peace Motivate, Only when there is Peace Inspiration
I have lots of things to do. Not that I am very free to create blogs here (Misconceptions I must correct, made by so many people.) I started YrManna.com and until now, I have not really 'started it'. The time will come, that just got to show how long it can take for me to accomplish something. It takes so long, because I am not a robot. I am make of flesh and blood. I suffer pain and aches. No matter how much my spirit is, my heart desire, if my body cannot coordinate with my heart and soul, nothing can be done.

Believe, Don't Believe, I shall do my part
If one person has doubt in me, this shows that there are doubts elsewhere. I am a consumer myself. I understand. However, I accept people who still have doubts and still do not believe. Adversity. I will tell you about this word next time. It is 2.57am now. I need to off the computer now. I do not want to become a panda. But I tell you, I am not going to stop talking about God, the almighty and powerful creator of life, the giver of life and our natural Father, the one who really love us, no Him, no us. I am glad, He Believes -- at least, it starts.